When Verbal Promises Override Written Terms (Until They Don’t)

Most tenancy disputes don’t start with raised voices or broken rules.
They start with a sentence that sounds harmless:

“But you said…”

Tenants often remember a conversation clearly. A reassurance given during viewing. A casual promise made before signing. A friendly explanation that sounded reasonable at the time.

For months, everything feels fine.
Then something changes — money, timing, or circumstances — and suddenly that verbal promise no longer holds. What felt agreed upon now feels denied.

This is one of the most common ways tenants end up frustrated, confused, and feeling treated unfairly — even when no one originally intended harm.

Why Verbal Promises Feel More Real Than Written Terms

From a tenant’s point of view, verbal promises often feel more trustworthy than what’s written on paper.

A document is impersonal.
A conversation feels human.

When an agent or landlord explains something verbally, tone matters. Reassurance matters. The way something is said often carries more weight than the exact words used. A calm “should be okay” can feel more convincing than a clause buried deep in an agreement.

Because of this, many tenants unconsciously downgrade the importance of written terms once they receive verbal reassurance. The agreement becomes a formality. The “real” understanding feels like it lives in the conversation.

This is not careless behaviour. It is normal human behaviour.

Where Verbal Promises Commonly Appear in Tenancies

Verbal assurances tend to show up in predictable places, especially before signing.

Tenants often hear phrases like:

• “We can discuss later”
• “Usually this isn’t a problem”
• “Most tenants don’t worry about that”
• “Let’s see when the time comes”
• “That clause is just standard wording”

At the time, these statements feel flexible and accommodating. They suggest cooperation rather than rigidity. For a tenant eager to secure a unit, they reduce anxiety and make the process smoother.

The problem is not that these phrases are intentionally misleading. The problem is that they are open-ended — and open-ended phrases are remembered differently by different people.

How Verbal Promises Quietly Override the Agreement

Once a tenant feels reassured verbally, something subtle happens.

They stop referring back to the agreement.
They stop questioning unclear clauses.
They mentally replace written terms with remembered conversations.

Over time, expectations shift. The tenant believes certain outcomes are already agreed upon, even if the agreement itself does not clearly support that belief. Because nothing goes wrong immediately, this feels safe.

In reality, the agreement has not changed. Only the tenant’s understanding of it has.

This gap stays invisible until pressure appears.

What Changes When There Is a Dispute

Disputes usually arise when something becomes inconvenient or costly.

A repair is delayed.
A deposit deduction is proposed.
A notice period is enforced strictly.

At that moment, verbal promises lose their power.

The written agreement becomes the reference point again — not because someone suddenly became unreasonable, but because written terms are the only shared, fixed record. Conversations are remembered differently. Tone is forgotten. Context fades.

From the tenant’s perspective, this feels like a betrayal.
From the other side, it feels like a misunderstanding.

Both may genuinely believe they are right.

This is why verbal promises tend to “override” written terms only during good times. Under stress, the agreement always resurfaces.

The Tenant’s Dilemma: Trust vs Protection

Many tenants hesitate to insist on written clarification. Doing so can feel awkward or confrontational.

There is often a fear of appearing difficult, distrustful, or overly cautious — especially in a market where tenants worry about losing a unit to someone else. Asking for confirmation in writing can feel like challenging goodwill.

In the Malaysian context, this hesitation is even stronger. We usually prioritise politeness and smooth interactions. Tenants may accept vague assurances to avoid uncomfortable conversations, trusting that goodwill will continue.

Unfortunately, goodwill is not a reliable safety net when circumstances change.

Why Written Terms Are Not About Distrust

From a tenant’s point of view, it is important to reframe what written clarity actually means.

Putting something in writing is not about assuming bad faith.
It is about removing reliance on memory.

Clear written terms protect tenants from being told later that something was “never agreed.” They also protect landlords from being accused of promises they do not remember making.

When expectations are written clearly, there is less room for emotional escalation. Disagreements become easier to resolve because both sides can point to the same reference, rather than arguing over recollections.

Written clarity preserves relationships by reducing resentment.

A Practical Reality Tenants Often Learn Too Late

When disputes escalate — whether through agents, mediators, or formal processes — verbal assurances rarely carry weight on their own. Not because they are unimportant, but because they are difficult to verify.

Memory changes under stress.
Interpretation shifts with emotion.
What felt “very clear” months ago may now sound vague.

This is why written agreements, however imperfect, become the default reference when problems arise. They are not perfect reflections of intent, but they are stable.

For tenants, relying solely on verbal promises means relying on something that disappears precisely when it is needed most.

How This Connects Back to “Standard” Agreements

This is one of the key reasons why so-called “standard” tenancy agreements often fail tenants.

Not because the agreement is necessarily unfair — but because tenants are encouraged, implicitly or explicitly, to rely on things outside the agreement. Verbal explanations are used to soften unclear wording, rather than fixing the wording itself.

When clarity lives outside the document, it disappears under pressure.

That is why understanding what is actually written — and what is not — matters far more than how familiar the agreement looks.

A Final Thought for Tenants

Verbal promises are human. They are part of how people communicate and build trust. The problem begins when they replace clarity rather than support it.

A good tenancy agreement is not one where everything needs to be remembered.
It is one where nothing important needs to be remembered at all.

If you’re a tenant, the safest position is not suspicion — it is understanding.

That is also why our DIYAgreement tenancy packs are designed to put key expectations clearly in writing from the start, so tenants don’t have to rely on memory, verbal assurances, or “what was said” later on.